These are all real quotes from former Vice-President
of the United State Dan Quayle.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage
between a mother and child."
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and
my fellow astronauts."
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars
is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important.
We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and
water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen,
that means we can breathe."
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or
not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our
nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all
lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend
toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
"One word sums up probably the responsibility
of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
"May our nation continue to be the beakon of
hope to the world." The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want
to go forward."
"I have made good judgments in the Past. I
have made good judgments in the Future."
"The future will be better tomorrow."
"We're going to have the best-educated American
people in the world."
"People that are really very weird can get
into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've
made." to Sam Donaldson
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are
a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are
a *part* of Europe."
"Public speaking is very easy." to reporters
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
"I love California, I practically grew up in
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer
people going to the polls."
"When I have been asked during these last weeks
who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been
direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters
are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about
in terms of not having it."
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession
that teach our children."
"The American people would not want to know
of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make."
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not
care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the
"Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more
stable peace, a better prospect to denying the ones who enter
conflict in the first place to have a reduction of offensive systems
and an introduction to defensive capability. I believe that is
the route this country will eventually go."
"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role
in the Pacific. It is IN the Pacific. It is a part of the United
States that is an island that is right here."
"You all look like happy campers to me. Happy
campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far as I
am concerned, happy campers you will always be."
to Samoans, whose capital Quayle pronounces "Pogo
"We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work
toward the elimination of human rights."
"El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising
that there are many voices to be heard here. Yet in my conversations
with Salvadorans... I have heard a single voice."
"It's rural America. It's where I came from.
We always refer to ourselves as real America. Rural America, real
America, real, real, America."
"Target prices? How that works? I know quite
a bit about farm policy. I come from Indiana, which is a farm
state. Deficiency payments - which are the key - that is what
gets money into the farmer's hands. We got loan, uh, rates, we
got target, uh, prices, uh, I have worked very closely with my
senior colleague, (Indiana Sen.) Richard Lugar, making sure that
the farmers of Indiana are taken care of."
"I not going to focus on what I have done in
the past what I stand for, what I articulate to the American people.
The American people will judge me on what I am saying and what
I have done in the last 12 years in the Congress."
"I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman."
"We should develop anti-satellite weapons because
we could not have prevailed without them in 'Red Storm Rising'."
"The US has a vital interest in that area of
the country." (referring to Latin America)
"Japan is an important ally of ours. Japan
and the United States of the Western industrialized capacity,
60 percent of the GNP, two countries. That's a statement in and
"Who would have predicted... that Dubcek, who
brought the tanks into Czechoslovakia in 1968 is now being proclaimed
a hero in Czechoslovakia. Unbelievable." (Actually, Dubcek
was the leader of the Prague Spring. The tanks were brought in
to oppose his movement.)
"Well, it looks as if the top part fell on
the bottom part." (referring to the collapsed section of
the 880 freeway after the San Francisco earthquake of 1989.)
"Getting [cruise missiles] more accurate so
that we can have precise precision."
"I can identify with steelworkers. I can identify
with workers that have had a difficult time."
"[I will never have] another Jimmy Carter grain
embargo, Jimmy, Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy
Carter grain embargo." (during the Benson debate)
"Certainly, I know what to do, and when I am
Vice President -- and I will be -- there will be contingency plans
under different sets of situations and I tell you what, I'm not
going to go out and hold a news conference about it. I'm going
to put it in a safe and keep it there! Does that answer your question?"
"Lookit, I've done it their way this far and
now it's my turn. I'm my own handler. Any questions? Ask me ...
There's not going to be any more handler stories because I'm the
handler ... I'm Doctor Spin."
"We will invest in our people, quality education,
job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call
"Don't forget about the importance of the family.
It begins with the family. We're not going to redefine the family.
Everybody knows the definition of the family. [Meaningful pause]
A child. [Meaningful pause] A mother. [Meaningful pause] A father.
There are other arrangements of the family, but that is a family
and family values. I've been very blessed with wonderful parents
and a wonderful family, and I am proud of my family. Anybody turns
to their family. I have a very good family. I'm very fortunate
to have a very good family. I believe very strongly in the family.
It's one of the things we have in our platform, is to talk about
it. I suppose three important things certainly come to my mind
that we want to say thank you. The first would be our family.
Your family, my family -- which is composed of an immediate family
of a wife and three children, a larger family with grandparents
and aunts and uncles. We all have our family, whichever that may
be ... The very beginnings of civilization, the very beginnings
of this country, goes back to the family. And time and time again,
I'm often reminded, especially in this Presidential campaign,
of the importance of a family, and what a family means to this
country. And so when you pay thanks I suppose the first thing
that would come to mind would be to thank the Lord for the family."